You’re Always Stronger Than You Think
It’s a bit inconceivable the sheer depths of trauma that people can experience in their lifetimes. Not just their entire lifetimes, but the very beginning of their lives - at ages as young as a few months old. You never know what someone has truly been through and to get a glimpse into what someone has endured can truly shift your perspective.
Typically, we don’t get insight into people’s deepest and darkest secrets. Much less into their private sessions with their psychologists. But that’s all changing in today’s landscape. There’s podcasts, tv shows, and books that dive into the inner workings of the human mind and how small shifts in perception and forgiveness can truly change your life.
How often do we hold on to a story or feeling without even realizing it? I’m sure the answer would actually astound you because unless you’re completely aware of every single thought, action, and words that you use, you are likely very blind to a lot of the limiting beliefs that are holding you back. Some things are so ingrained in us that we accept them as cold hard truths. But what if we caught ourselves when we started to go down a rabbit hole or paused in the midst of an automatic negative reaction and questioned why we were thinking that way? It sounds difficult but if you try it just once, you may be more surprised by your discernment between reality and your thoughts. It’s eye opening to stand in that moment and realize that you have full control over your own thoughts and reactions and your ability to zoom out of them for a moment to determine what is actually going on.
I remember when I was a kid sitting at the dinner table and my family would speak in absolutes, like their thoughts were stone cold facts and there is no other conceivable option. It piqued my interest because I would see different things happening at school or on television but I didn’t poke or prod because I was overpowered sheerly for being younger. If my mom was saying something, surely she must be correct because she is my mom and moms know everything. If my brother said something, surely he must know what he’s talking about because he’s seven years older than me. I lived in this until I was in my late teens and have slowly been working to dismantle the legitimacy I gave to them. Not because they were teaching me the wrong things but because I see the world in a different way. And that’s completely ok. It doesn’t make them wrong and it doesn’t make me right, but it does provide me with my own unique point of view that makes my experience in life right for me.
I picked up the book Good Morning, Monster a few weeks ago and could not put it down. The author, Catherine Gildiner, is a psychotherapist who writes about five patients she worked with over the years. Each of these patients grew up in environments where they were told they had to live in the absolute facts that their caretakers infringed upon them, even if it was the most inhumane thing you could have ever imagined. If you want to learn more about the human psyche and what people are capable of inflicting upon others and how people can endure and come out better (somehow) because of it, this is the book for you.
Good Morning, Monster shifted my perspective on how people can cope and heal in order to live the life that they’ve always envisioned for themselves. Not all of us are so lucky but if you want to know that you’re stronger than you think, pick this book up and get a glimpse into the lives of five people who have come out on top after experiencing the worst kind of evil you can think of.