Breaking Through Cultural Limitations
As a first generation Iranian living in California, I never thought too much about the cultural differences outside of how we ate or that my parents only had Persian friends. But as I grew older and I expanded out of my community, I started to notice that the things I had deemed normal, were not necessarily so. First, it began with my friend group. I had entered the workforce and started to make friends outside of the clique I was part of in high school or through family friends. These new friends were nicer, more communicative, and supportive of my strengths. Unfortunately, this was not something I had been used to after years of being put down and shamed for being authentically myself. When I was out with friends and a bit reserved as I was observing everyone around me, I was deemed a “bitch” or “snob” or “that I think I’m better than everyone.” For being quiet and wanting to take in my surroundings. For not saying a single word other than watching other people interact. It’s astonishing really that people, or my so-called friends, vocalized such derogatory terms about me and I said nothing back. I said nothing back because I’d been taught to “let things go” or “it doesn’t matter” or “that I shouldn’t let anyone effect me, why am I bothered” by my parents who had been taught by their culture that people pleasing and not being confrontational was the appropriate response.
Suffice to say, I did not have the skills or the tools to walk away from these people or defend myself. Hence, my surprise when I was surrounded by people who took the time to get to know me and were also observing me and my behaviors, while giving me the benefit of the doubt.
Awareness is a gift and something that should not be taken for granted. Look up, watch what’s happening in and around you and determine from there what you want to surround yourself with. Don’t just accept what you have been forced to accept, there’s always a better way.
One of the greatest books that I’ve read that helps to raise your awareness is Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer. I’ve just re-read it for the second time and its blown me away more than the first time. I highly recommend this book as a permanent on your bookshelf that should be revisited once a year to remind you that your awareness can set you free from anyone and any beliefs that are holding you back.