Growing Up Happens Whether You’re Looking or Not

At a certain point in our lives, we’re expected to fully embrace adulthood and act accordingly so. But what actually propels us to fully embrace being an adult? Sure, if we had emotionally intelligent and available parents, we’re far better equipped to gracefully step into such a major period of growth and responsibility in our lives. But, most of us didn’t have that. We had parents who were in survival mode and doing their best to make sure there was a roof over our heads and food on the dinner table with much else going out the window.

Some of us are catapulted into adulthood by traumatic experiences or changing dynamics, others for other various reasons. Still, there are aspects of ourselves that may cling on to childish behavior for some sense of control, protection, or deep rooted fears. Or simply because we didn’t learn how to evolve in that particular regard.

I found myself facing these thoughts last weekend. It was pretty eye opening because at 36 years old, I am an adult in every sense of the word. But that’s not how I’ve felt, not when I look in the mirror and not when issues arise where I need to be confrontational. I don’t think I look like an adult due to my baby face (or what I am seeing when I look in the mirror) and I sure don’t feel like an adult when someone expresses their dismay with me pushing me deep into the feeling that I’m in trouble like a child. These are choices though, I can look in the mirror and say wow look you’re a grown up. And when someone confronts me, instead of falling into my feelings I can take a step back and rationally assess if I’ve done something and if I have, take ownership, and if I have not, then certainly tell that person that I am not responsible for their feelings over my inaction.

Its quite a lesson to learn and I’ve been hard at work the last week facing myself in the mirror and giving myself the credit I so rightfully have earned to see myself as an adult like the rest of the world does. It is a choice though and I could have stayed in my feelings and kept looping on the same beliefs and behavior where I felt down on myself, or I could acknowledge it and take steps towards changing it.

I chose the latter and I feel so much stronger, clearer, and in my worth because of it.