The Funny Thing About Stepping Into Your Past

You don’t always know what to expect when you willingly walk down memory lane, especially when its not just figuratively but physically. I’ve been on this journey for a long time but over the last 10 months, I took it to the next level by living where all the pain took place.

I’ve unraveled layers upon layers of limiting beliefs, reopened core wounds that have been deeper and more raw than I could have imagined, and been tested by the universe with mirrors everywhere I look. There’s been tears, apologies, angel healers, acupuncturists, journaling, meditating, therapy…basically, you name it and I’ve done it.

And its gotten me here. A place where I’m finally seeing the light overcome the darkness. Its been a week of tests, yet again, but this time it felt different. Everything I’ve worked to learn to stand in my worth and uplevel my consciousness finally started to pay off. You always hear that “doing the work” is worth it and I’ve always been a firm believer that its completely true, but once you step into true darkness, you don’t know what to believe. Until the moment you’ve been striving for finally comes. I stepped out of the mud, the hazy fog lifted, and my soul began to emerge with a glimmer of confidence that I haven’t seen in almost a year.

I found myself and my inner strength. I found my inner child sitting at the top, waving a white flag to let me know that it was time to say goodbye to the one foot I’d left in my childhood and step fully into adulthood. It was surprising to come face to face with the fact that I’ve been holding on to a part of myself that I’ve long needed to let go of. After all, from the outside looking in, I look like quite the successful adult living in a townhouse with my husband and mini golden doodle, working for a Fortune 500 company as a marketing exec working her way up the corporate ladder, and being the sound ear that my friends go to when looking for guidance.

But here we are. Today, I sat with myself and decided its time to say goodbye to the aspects of childhood I’ve subconsciously been clinging on to and I’m ready. Its time I see myself the way the outside world sees me and its time I command the respect I’ve desperately wanted in certain aspects of my life so that I can begin living again. But not just living and existing. But walking proudly with my head held high, knowing I’ve sunken and swam back up stronger than before, only to have healed deeply and the best of life is right around the corner.